I Communicate With Trees
by VandDuskgrowlcatnip
Summary: Max has to go to a group for her 'depression'. She meets some... interesting people. Including one who claims she can talk to... Wait-Trees? Man that girl is messed up... T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

I communicate with Trees

AN/ hhahahahahah Dusk was the one who gave me this idea. She's going to put "I communicate with trees" on her resume.

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own maximum Ride**

**Max's Pov**

I couldn't believe my mom had put me in here with all these psychos. I mean, there was nothing wrong with me! I wasn't depressed! Er well, I was a little depressed when it came to fang, but only a little! My mom had actually decided to put me in 'group discussion'. Lovely.

The Shrink lady who ran the discussion walked in the door. Her name was Ms. Birdie. Wow, now that's an ironic name, seeing as her nose was shaped like a beak. Freak.

"Now." She said. "Lets get to know one another okay?" everyone nodded their head. "We'll go around in a circle and I want you to tell me why you're here."

"Well, My name is Emilia, and I communicate with tree's."

"You communicate with what?" Ms. Birdie asked, obviously confused.

"Trees." Said Emilia.

"And what do the trees say?" Ms. Birdie asked. Emilia went pale.

"They tell me that life is black and meaningless." She said in a dull voice.

"Umm, okay, what about you."

"Well my name is Richard and I'm in here because my mom doesn't believe that I'm a ninja." Said Richard, who was quite overweight for a 'ninja'.

"And why doesn't she believe you, Richard?"

"Because I've tried to jump off of buildings." How the heck did that make sense?

"Okay then. How about you?"

"My name is Patty and I'm in here because I enjoy going to people I don't know's funerals and looking at the dead people."

"Uhhh, okay, how bout you?" she asked looking at me.

"My name is Max and I'm in here because my Mom thinks that I am depressed."

"And why does she think that, Max?" Ms Birdie asked.

"I dunno, because I've been moping around."

"And why have you been moping around?"

"Because I FEEL LIKE IT!" I countered. Ms. Birdie sighed.

"Okay, we'll meet again tomorrow at the same time."


	2. Chapter 2

Word Assosiation

_**AN/ hahahha, go on our profile to see OUR results!! **_

**I started it, she thinks Fang too much. But yeah, look at it, it's funny.**

**Disclaimer:**** We do not own annnyyyyttthhhiiiiinnngggg!! **

**Max's Pov**

All five of us sat down in the same circle the next day.

"So." Ms. Birdie started. "Today, we are going to be doing word assosiatioun." Dun dun duuunnn. Well, now, that sounds like fun! Not.

"Max we'll start with you!" She said. I sat back, bracing myself for boredom.

"Dark."

"Fang!" I covered my mouth. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT!"

"I'm sure you didn't, but your subconscious mind is going to say what it wants. Now its your turn, Emilia."

"Chain saw." She whispered in a terrified voice.

"Richard?"

"Cover."

"Uh huh, now, Patty?"

"Death, lots and lots of death." Wow, these people were whack jobs. At least my answer made sense.

"I see, now, Tomato." Ms. Birdie said, looking at me.

"Fang." I said again, yet again, covering my mouth. What the hell was up with me?

"Well, some one has a fetish with fangs…" She looked at Emilia.

"Seed?"

"Richard?"

"EGGPLANT!!"

"FANG!" I suddenly screamed. I clasped my hands over my mouth.

"Max, its patty's turn now." Ms. Birdie looked at Patty.

"Blllooooodddddd." She said in a very scary voice.

"Okay, now, Silence"

"Fang." I answered yet again. Ms. Birdie raised her eyebrows.

"How on earth does that relate to fangs??"

"Uhhhmmm, fangs are inanimate objects and do not speak??" I lied, confusing myself in the process.

"Forest." Emilia said.

"Sneaky." Said Richard, the ninja man.

"Deeeeaaaaattthhhhh…" Patty whispered.

"Yes, very good, now. Max? Red."

"FAAANNNGGGG." I growled angrily.

"So you don't like red fangs?? Interesting"

"No not red fangs I don't like red heads!! Uhhh I mean, yes! I do not like red fangs. Exactly." I corrected quickly.

"Maples." Emilia, said dreamily.

"Ninja swords!!" Richard yelled happily.

"BUCKETS OF BLLLOOOODDDD!! BWHHAHAAHAHAHA!!" Patty screamed.

"Okay, I guess we'll meet up here again tomorrow."

Out in the waiting room, Mom stood up from her chair. Oh yeah, some one else was there too. Fang.

**(Dun dun duuuunnn…-Blixie) **

"Oh guess what max! Fang got a pizza and met us up here before he went back to the house. I turned to glare at him. But before I could say anything about him being here to annoy me, Ms. Birdie waved us down.

"Dr. Martinez! And who is this?"

"That's nick, but he uhhh, prefers fang." I felt the heat in my cheeks rise.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh…" Ms. Birdie said, in a suggestive tone. "Sooo you're fang?? Now I get it…" Fang looked at her as if she had grown three more heads.

"Uhhh, yeeeaaahhh and what do you get?" he backed up slightely.

"NOTHING!" I yelled, suddenly. "SHE DOESN'T GET ANYTHING AND WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!" I yelled, pushing fang towards the door.

_**AN/ HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUN….**_


	3. Chapter 3

Cameras?? 

AN/ sigh, so bored. Didn't update Collision Coarse for a month. Making it up to Dusk by updating this too. I'm going to bed in an hour and have decided to spend that hour writing like I'm sugar high.

**Disclaimer: ****We own NOTHING…..as far as YOU know…**

**Max's pov**

It had been a week since the last session, when there was a knock on my mom's front door. I opened the door, curious as to who would be coming over here. Mom hadn't mentioned anything about guests. To my dismay, the open door revealed Miss. Birdie.

"Oh, hello Max!" She greeted in an overly happy voice. "I brought these tapes of our sessions together to show your family." She held up two old fashioned video cassettes (**I had to ask my mom what those things were called…I feel…so stupid!-Blix) **I did the only thing I could think of.

I slammed the door right in her face and ran upstairs, knowing that a door wouldn't keep Birdie back for long. I burst into fangs room.

"What are you doing!!" He asked as I grabbed a chair and chain. I pushed him into the chair and his overall shock kept him there for the two minutes needed to tie the chains securely around him. "Max what are you-" I slapped one of Gazzy's dirty socks into his mouth and taped it shut with duct tape.

Fang's POV

SO. Help. Me. If this isn't some kidnapping thing where we go far away and live in a cottage on a lake all alone happily ever after, I'm going to kill her.

Max's POV

I pushed Fang and his wheely chair over to his closet and locked him in. Then I raced back down the stares, praying there was still time left to dispose of the tapes. I stopped in my tracks, my heart sinking, as the sight of my mom welcoming Miss. Birdie into the living room filled my eyes.

"Look, Max." My mom said, unaware that she had just invited a vampire into our home. "Miss. Birdie brought some videos of your sessions with her. She says she thinks watching them as a family might help us understand why your so mopey." This whole thing was made worse by the fact that the flock had already gathered around the TV, eager to see me in group therapy.

"I think we're missing some one." Mom said, counting the flock.

"Oh yes, where is young Nick? Its very crucial that he be here for this." Miss. Birdie said, smiling. I gave her the most evil burn-your-soul-glare I had ever given, but she just looked at me with those beady little eyes and continued to smile.

"I'll go check his room." Mom said, heading up the stairs. About five minutes later she came down with an angry, glaring fang.

"I found him tied and gagged in his closet…" She said, looking around the room confused.

"Heheheh fang came out of the closet…" Iggy whispered under his breath. Fang got a death grip on my arm and dragged me over to the couch. No seriously, he dragged me. I now have a carpet burn on my stomach. He plopped me down, keeping the death grip so that I couldn't escape.

Fang's POV

There is no WAY I'm letting her get out of watching this after she locked me in a closet. A CLOSET!!! WITH GAZZY'S SOCK IN MY MOUTH!!

Max's POV

As the rest of my flock watched the movie it was clear to me what they thought. A mixture of entertainment, confusion, entertainment, shock, oh and did I mention, EXTREMELY AMUSED!! Ms. Birdie was soooo gonna die for this.

Death by pens sounds both humiliating and torturous. Let's go with that. First I'll stab out her eyes, and then I'll stab her ears… Oh yes. This sounds very fun…

**AN/ Screw it. I can't write more. END OF STORY PEOPLE!**

**GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!**

**-Dusk**


End file.
